A Depressing Post from A Depressed Gal

Hello, everyone.

As I sat watching TV tonight (My Big Fat Greek Wedding was on, what would you have done?) I started to suddenly become super depressed about things. Now, I don't want to force my problems onto anyone...so please, if you have problems of your own or hate hearing people complain about their lives, stop reading this right now. I don't want to bring anyone else down and I am DEFINITELY not trying to seek out pity or compliments or ways to fix all of my problems. So here is a list of crappy things that I have going against me right now.

1. After four years of blood, sweat, and tears I lost my job because of five "B#$ches". If you know me, you know that I am very outspoken and I don't lie to get ahead. I hate office politics. Mostly, I hate that these women have caused my life to change drastically while they are sitting there at work celebrating. I wish for horrible things to happen to them. Then I feel bad for wishing that. I am grateful for the change, but at the same time, this really sucks. Mostly, I just want some sort of justice. I know that justice doesn't always come out of events like this. But why can't it work out for me this once?

2. I am unemployed. I have no control over my life. I have to answer to the website every week just to attempt to qualify for unemployment. It's been almost three weeks and I have yet to get any yes or no response from them.

3. I have to pay the utilities bill tomorrow and my speeding ticket. But I have no money. I'm talking I have one dollar cash and $15 in my bank account. Everyone always talks to me about the power of paying tithing and the blessings that come from it, but what if you haven't been paying tithing? What if tithing is something that I believe in, but I'm not courageous enough to see if it works for me? And how can I expect any blessings to come from Heavenly Father when I haven't been the best disciple for a long time?

4. I am still alone, single, and friendless. (I know, I have friends-but I go days without hearing from anyone.) I sit at home and sand down tables and chairs and other things to occupy my time-but really all I want to do is lay down and sleep. The worst part of being single is the fact that you have no companion to help talk you out of these moods. There is absolutely no one in the world that prefers my company to anyone else's. (My cat is the only living creature on earth that would rather snuggle with me than be in anyone else's presence.)

I normally don't feel this way. I know that I have many, many blessings. I have a family that loves me. This is normal, isn't it? It's normal to feel like this every once in awhile. So, again, please don't think I am a suicide risk or that I need some major intervening. I will feel 100% better in a day or two. I blame My Big Fat Greek Wedding for starting me off on this cry fest. I hope that tomorrow will be better than today. And I hope that one day, I won't be so alone.