Happy Thanksgiving

Being here in Provo by myself while you all are at your respective homes gives me ample time to think about the things that I am grateful for.
I am grateful for the sexual predator who sometimes like to lurk about and make me a little uneasy staying here by myself.
I am grateful for the Wicked soundtrack, and that Michelita isn't here so that I can play it as often as I want and as loud as I want.
I am grateful that at least have a computer to keep me in touch with the outside world.
I am grateful that I got to eat at my sister's because not only does she make most of the food, I don't feel inclined to do tons of cleaning up while I am there.
But most of all, I am grateful for the time alone I have. I am close to finishing my book. I am getting tons of uninterrupted sleep, unless you count the time that someone's alarm kept going off this morning. Anywho, I will see you all when you get back, hopefully I will still be here.

It's the most wonderful time of the Year!!!

That's right. It's coming on Christmas, they're chopping down trees, or at least I think that was something that Joni Mitchell or someone like that said. I am really excited for a few things that come only during the Christmas season. And because I work in retail, most of them are going to be about the lovely general public, whom I will hereafter refer to as Idiots.
1. The idiots who decide that seven o'clock in the morning the day after Christmas is a good time to be at the mall. Seriously, folks. It's not necessary. And most of those people are shoplifters who somehow managed to jump out of bed with one desire, pilfering something at the local shoe store. Not a good idea, idiot. If you're the only one in the store, we're probably going to have our eye on you.
2. The Christmas music. If I have to listen to that Gloria Estefan song one more time, I think I might stab my eye out with a shoe lace. That song makes me wish, and this is a little mean, that she hadn't recovered fully from that crash she had awhile back. I mean, I don't wish death on poor Gloria Estefan, I just wish that she hadn't been allowed to record that song. And has anyone else noticed that these past few years, you can't go anywhere without hearing that old classic, "Oh Holy Night". I never thought I would be sick of that song, but I am.
3. I hate the Hickory Farms place in the mall. Who eats that crap anyway. If I wanted to kill myself with a inedible food item, I wouldn't choose one of those disgusting beef stick products to do it with. Someone should club those ladies over the head with a beef stick. I also hate that stupid place that sells cinnamon covered almonds. Maybe if that smell didn't get everywhere. Now that's something that sicks me out.
4. And the final thing that I am sarcastically excited about this Christmas is those really cheesy movies that the ABC Family channel play 24/7. I don't know what that one movie is called, but it involves Will from "Will and Grace" and the stupid "Touched By An Angel" lady. Yikes I hate that show. I also hate that Christmas Story movie.
Hmmm...Enough venting for now.

Kittykat 5000 and the Search for More Money

I have nothing important to say to you all, my eager audience. I am sitting at the computer, it's coming on 1:30 A.M. and I don't think that sleep will be coming anytime soon. I came home from work today, only to rush off to one of the cutest guys in the world's birthday party. That's right, my nephew turned three. I got him some sweet Spiderman slippers, which he decided he needed to wear over his footy pajamas.
Needless to say that when I got home I needed to take a nap, so I did. Alright, so it was almost 9:00 at night, but I was tired. But then we watched a bootleg copy of Serenity and now I am so excited I don't know when I will ever be able to sleep again. I love bootlegs. I think they are the greatest things on earth. And even though I had to sit through an extensive conversation with my brother-in-law about the in's and out's of Kaylee's characterization, I think it was worth it.

I am a sad guy!

I know, I am as shocked as the rest of you are for updating. But this depression merits something so pivotal as blogging for the first time in over a month. I can't put anything really fancy into it, mostly because I don't want to, but today I just want to give smithfieldman a few reasons to stay in Provo.
1. Who will go to the midnight releases of such pivotal films like Cheaper By the Dozen 2 and Yours, Mine, and Ours...? P.S. I love Zorro part Two. I don't know if it was just that it was midnight and I was tired or just really awesome, but I tend to think it was the latter.
2. Who will come over and protect me from the scary sexual predators lurking about my house? Okay, probably not Smithfieldman but it was a nice thought.
3. What if a light bulb goes out? Are we going to have to be in utter darkness for the rest of our lives?
4. What about crappy movie Sundays? Valentine's Day comes but once a year, which means that Valentine is on TV but once a year. Damn You, Noah!
5. What if my chair is at my uncle's house again? How will I get there? Who will bring my chair home in their trusty but rusty truck?

I can't think of anything else, but I am sure that there are more reasons for my beloved Freakishly Tall friend to stay in the greatest town in the world. Okay, maybe I'm just overly emotional right now, but I don't think I can handle anyone else I know and love leaving me. That's right, Jason is included in that category. Who will live in the Wells Fargo building with me now? I guess I will just have to give up my dream, but I would really hate to do that.

In case anyone I don't know is reading this, I am in the market for a new Freakishly Tall Friend. It seems my old one just didn't love me enough.