The New Christmas Addictions

I am going to admit something right now, which is going to rock the very ground that the blogging world is built on. My mom and I have recently been forced to watch a television program so stupid it makes Covington Cross look like Emmy material. And we have enjoyed ourselves while doing it. That television show is Walker, Texas Ranger. The joys that Chuch Norris brings to the tv are so great, one can only hope to contain them in a small list.

1. He has that great facial hair, you know the kind that is really short and mostly on the neck.
2. He can beat the crap out of anyone. Last night, Walker and his partner (I can't remember his name) beat up an entire biker gang.
3. Walker involves himself in every social issue, whether it is protecting his Native American kin (cause he's half Cherokee or something) or working as a school principal to stop the kids from using drugs.

That is just a tiny glimpse of the joys you can look forward to in any episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. Did I mention that there is a man on the show who is the very, very poor man's Wilford Brimley? My guess is they didn't want to hire Brimley because he would simply upstage Walker during every scene.

I also watched Sky High and have found a new love. His name is Warren Peace, at least, that is his name in the movie. And it's okay to love him because he is almost twenty.

The End of the World

Here I am in Idaho. Good times. I have only been here a day and I am already starting to wonder what everyone is up to. Especially my beloved Smithfieldman. Is he thinking about coming back to Provo? What if I promised him some more seasons of Dr. Quinn.
I got to see my new nephew yesterday. He is promising to be the cutest little guy born this year. Unfortunately, he wouldn't wake up so I just had to hold him while he slept.
I watched the War of the Worlds movie tonight with my parents. Tom Cruise, although slightly annoying, was not nearly as annoying as I thought he was going to be. Why did that little girl keep running off whenever the aliens were near? Is she the stupidest person alive? I think that she might be.
And if the end of the world was coming, and you were stuck in a basement with Tim Robbins, what would you do? Yeah, I would probably end up killing him, too. Although I did feel kind of bad for him in that Mystic River movie. Keep it real, peeps! Have a happy Christmas!

The Cleared the Ghettos in Utah County

There is an occurence in Utah County. It happens every Sunday. While most of the population attends some form of church, whether you head up to Campus or go to that church on University Avenue that meets at 11:00. The rest of the population take advantage of your absence in public by escaping their homes (or trailers, whichever) and coming to the mall. That's where I come in. It is my job to make sure that all 50 of you who actually want to buy something can do so.
The problem with Sunday shoppers, the thing that seperates you from every other kind of shopper, is the fact that you are all a bunch of jerks. You are mean, cheap, and above all, inconsiderate. I am never yelled at more than when I work on Sundays. And by the way, why is it that you can't speak English, not a single word, but you can argue with me over a three dollar price discrepancy. AGHHH!!! On top of another horrible day at work, my beloved Smithfieldman is leaving me. In the words of Jim Carrey, "Goodbye, my love..."

Clarence, The Ninth Wonder of the World

My car is fabulous, just in case you were wondering. He is a 1987 Buick Century, maroon, and hot on the prowl. I inherited this car from my grandparents. Grandma didn't drive Clarence very much and I reap from the benefits from that.
My problem with Clarence right now is that he radically needs a new transmission. Yikes! Where am I getting a thousand dollars, I don't quite know. But I am thinking of writing a letter to Oprah and asking if she wouldn't mind spotting me the money. She's rich right, she could certainly help me out.
Anyway, I need to get to bed tonight, seeing as last night was KONG!!! and I still haven't quite recovered sitting in that theatre for over three hours. Seriously Peter Jackson, I loved the movie but do we really need to see brontosaurus' tumbling down a hill for a half hour? (NO, the answer is always NO)

Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman

Dr. Quinn is one of the best shows ever aired on television. If you are not familiar with the plot, I will summarize it for you. Dr. Quinn, a woman from the east coast, travels across country to the old west of Colorado Springs to become the towns new doctor. There she encounters the friendly lodge lady who dies quickly after meeting the good doctor (I'm developing a theory about how Dr. Quinn killed her). However before dying she gives Dr. Quinn her three children to raise. Dr. Quinn also encounters Sully, a mysterious stranger with a beautiful face who later becomes her love interest.
I think that the beauty of this show is in the fact that every episode involves some pivotal item of interest. Whether she is saving the environment or protecting the village idiot, Dr. Quinn is giving that town more than just medical treatment, she is indoctinatng them into her hip east coast modern ideas.